Travelling In Bali With A Toddler: Dealing With The Japanese Paparazzi

She’s got him! Now to hold onto him for the Kodak moment.

I remember many years ago when I went backpacking, how all us backpackers would take photographs of the beautiful Asian children. I especially remember the children in Laos. They were always smiling and waving. Sometimes we would ask first before taking those photographs, but most of the time we’d just snap away as if we were at Disneyland.

A couple of weeks ago in Bali, I got to experience it from the other side. I totally didn’t expect it – suddenly my son was the tourist attraction.  All these random strangers, mostly Japanese tourists, would come up to us and start taking his picture.  Sometimes they’d want to pick him up and have their photo taken with him.  It was like being on tour with a tiny Justin Bieber.  I didn’t mind as long as Joshi didn’t seem to mind.  I think he was a bit confused at times. There was no warm up, getting to know him a bit first and all that, just straight in for the Kodak moment.  Some of those tourists went home with pictures of themselves holding a frowning Joshi in their arms, but for the most part he seemed okay with it.

All the attention he attracted on holiday took a tiny bit of adjusting to at first, but for the most part I was totally fine with it.  I have to confess though – there was one time when I wasn’t okay with it.  It was one of those breakfasts when Joshi needed me to take him to the loo.  (‘Elimination Communication on Holiday’ – that’s another blog in itself).  So I whipped him out of the high chair in the hotel restaurant and made my way to the nearest toilet. I managed to get his nappy off and hold him over the adult toilet in time, but when I came out of the loo, there she was – Joshi’s new Japanese admirer – a googling, oogling and really-excited-to-see-Joshi woman.  Joshi didn’t have his nappy back on yet. I was like, ‘Hello! Excuse me!  How about just a little bit of privacy in the toilets?’  Looking back on that moment now I can laugh, but at the time it was really annoying.  What life must be like for celebs – always being chased by the paparazzi.  Glad I’m not famous.

Smile for the paparazzi Joshi!

 

The Trials and Tribulations Of Going Out With A Small Baby

Joshi sleeping after a big car cry

It probably all looks so lovely and cute to any unsuspecting outsider who’s never taken care of a newborn baby of their own, but the truth is – taking care of and responding to the needs of your little darling in those first 6 weeks may be one of the most stressful things you ever do.  It was for me.

Now that Joshi is 11 months old things are so much easier. Not only have we had some practice at being parents, he’s also much easier to take care of.   So yes, it does all change, but boy were those first six weeks challenging.  During that time I was absolutely exhausted, ridiculously sleep deprived, (yes, there’s good reason why sleep deprivation has been used as a form of torture) and often quite teary.  Some of the biggest cries I’ve ever had in my life happened during that time.  Despite all the wonderful, loved-up, incredibly precious moments that kept occurring, adapting to life with this new little was challenging and at times very overwhelming.

During those first 6 weeks Joshi didn’t do many car journeys, but there were some.  I remember one of the first and hardest car trips I ever made with him.  He was no more than six weeks old.  It was crazy hard just getting to the point where we were ready to leave the apartment.   It took forever.  You see, with a newborn, you don’t just ‘pop out.’   Well, you could if you were just wrapping them in the baby carrier and going for a walk round the block, but not for a car journey.  Larger journeys need to be prepared for with military precision.  Simultaneously, while preparing to leave, you need to keep taking care of your baby’s moment-to-moment needs as well as any very basic needs of your own.   And then you need to make sure you take with you whatever you might need.  The contents in my ‘going out with a baby bag’ have changed since then, but when he was around 6 weeks old this it what I needed:

• nappies,
• something to clean him with incase he went while I was driving – I had a small squirty bottle of water and cotton wool balls,
• a change of clothes or two in case of a huge squirty poo which goes everywhere,
• a small changing mat to protect the car seat from baby poo,
• a plastic bag to put dirty nappies in,
• nappy rash cream of some sort (I hardly ever needed this because we were EC’ing Joshi, but I used the black tube of pawpaw appointment because it’s petroleum  free, unlike the one in the red one),
• a bunny rug or blanket incase he got cold,
• a couple of vomit rags to wipe off any milky spews,
• a large bottle of water to keep myself hydrated,
• a few snacks to satisfy those outrageously strong and unavoidable breast-feeding hunger pangs.
• And, of course, something to carry him in once we reach our destination – ergo baby carrier.  Thank God we had a baby carrier.  It made life so much easier. I tried lifting and mantling a pram a few times – it was outright pesty.

Once I’d got all of the above together we’d eventually managed to leave the apartment.   But then came the dreaded car drive.  I know it might sound ridiculous to you, but there were times when a three-minute car drive felt like eternity.  At that stage driving anywhere with Joshi in the car was incredibly stressful.  It was like the ultimate test for me of how centred I was (or wasn’t).   He would cry and cry and cry as though being strapped into that rear facing baby car seat was just the most awful thing in the whole wide world.  Those ear-piercing, heart wrenching cries would go right through me.  Not so great for your nervous system – being stuck in traffic and unable to pull over while your baby is clearly in a lot of distress.  Of course coping with that crying when you’re well-rested and feeling good is one thing; handling it when you’re knackered is something else.  I was knackered.

I did heaps of singing and chanting in the car.  Humming sometimes worked a treat.  But often nothing I did or said would help.  So I’d end up pulling over, taking him out, checking to see if he was wet or needed EC’ing, comforting him, maybe feeding or just holding him and then when he was settled, Id strap him back in again and off we’d go.  There was never a guarantee that he wouldn’t be crying full tilt again within the next minute, but how often can you pull over!  (Often).   I totally gave up being in  hurry to get places.  I had to.  It was a great lesson in letting go.  I’d always let people know that I’d be arriving anytime between a certain hour and the next one or two.   And when I was smart I’d allow at least a couple of hours for getting ready and reaching our destination. Thank God that phase is over.

When Joshi was 6 months old, it occurred to me how much easier things had become since he was born.  Suddenly Joshi was quite happy in the car seat, entertaining himself with the new sounds he could make, looking here and there.  Basically chilled out.  And I wasn’t sleep deprived.  I may not have been entirely rested, but put it this way – I wasn’t utterly knackered.  I think by then my body had learnt how to manage sleep deprivation and I was also practicing kriya and mediation almost every day, which helped enormously.

Now, 11 months later, so much has changed.  I can’t believe he’s almost a year old!  Of course challenges still come and go, but now things are easier with moments of challenge rather than challenging with moments of ease.   I’ve noticed that with parenting, just when you think you’ve nailed handling certain challenges they change and disappear and new ones come up.  Before you realise it, the challenges you once had, which felt as though they’d last forever, become a distant memory.  No wonder mammas keep having more babies!

I Kid You Not, My Baby’s Bottom Smells Of Rose Petals!

Sun-drying the thrush right out of those cloth nappies

If you think I’m just leading a life of leisure, hanging out with my very cute little baby boy, making cooing sounds, you’re WRONG!  I’m sure I’m working harder now than I’ve ever done before, in my new role as mamma.  Cooking, cleaning, doing laundry, feeding him, feeding me, washing up, cooking again, folding laundry, bathing him, dressing him, undressing him, etc.  (On this note,  if I’ve not returned your call, SMS or email, please don’t hold it against me or take it personally).

And now, for the past few days, I’ve been doing laundry.  Oh soooo much laundry!  You know you’ve done a lot of laundry when the crazy thought to put a laundromat sign outside your apartment passes not-so-surreptitiously through your head.  Please, don’t get the wrong impression, I’m not complaining.  In fact I’ve not minded it at all really.  I genuinely love it when everything smells fresh and clean.

What I have minded very muchly though, is this rash that Joshi’s developed.  I felt so anxious when it first appeared, all red and raw.  Turns out it’s thrush. Oh no! Not thrush on my baby!   Immediately I thought, “how can that be happening!  I EC my baby.  He hardly ever sits in his own wees (and definitely not in his poos – we catch all of those), but there’s been a phase recently where ECing hasn’t gone as well.  It seems to have passed now, but during it I was missing a whole lot of wees and Joshi suddenly started being not so into sitting on the potty.  Instead of happily doing his business, he’d straighten his whole body until I took him off.  The more I looking at that red, raw area the more I started feeling as though it was my fault, that I could have prevented him from getting thrush.

Anyway, moving on from self-blame as swiftly as possible, I was (relatively speaking) pleasantly surprised to learn that thrush in babies can come on when they start solids. Phew, a good solid reason to help me abolish all guilt (‘scuse the pun)!  Apparently it’s got something to do with their stool and urine acidity changing.  Adding more weight to this, the homeopath reckons Joshi’s thrush is connected to what’s going on in his digestive system.  So she suggested we change the foods we’re offering him, avoiding things like bananas, citric fruits and foods which are hard for him to digest and going more for foods like sweet potato, pumpkin, avocado and grains. And that we both take probiotics.

To help his skin heal, on my homeopath’s recommendation I’ve been rubbing this lovely rosatum cream on him. And I kid you not – his bottom literally smells of roses right now.  (Makes a change from the sweet caramel-like smell of my breastfed baby’s poos).   She also suggested he takes rosemary water baths.  It’s been quite pleasant actually.  And he didn’t smell too roast-potatoey afterwards. (You just simmer a handful of fresh rosemary in water for five minutes and then add it to your bath water – great for healing the skin).

But on top of that we’ve had to wash everything.  You see thrush looooooooves damp conditions and isn’t friends with sunlight, so washing and sun drying all his cloth nappies, sheets, towels, blankets, etc … and ours, is a great way to kill thrush.  And while I’ve been hanging up laundry in the garden Joshi’s been having heaps of nappy-free time, crawling around my ankles, getting lots of sunlight on his botty and other bits.

While it’s not been so easy, I think it’s all paying off.  His skin seems to be clearing up.   Of course, while he’s had thrush we’ve had to miss our swiming lessons so as not to aggravate his skin and not to spread it to the other kids.  Our homeopath was surprised that I’m taking him into chlorinated water at such a young age.   She says it compromises his immune system.  Even just 30 minutes of it a week. Oh dear, now I just need to get over feeling bad about taking him for swimming lessons.  Honestly, you can find more than a million reasons to feel guilty when you’re a mamma.   As with everything in life, there are always going to be some good decisions, bad decisions and some in between decisions that you make.  I guess you  just have to keep doing your best and be compassionate towards yourself.  In the meantime I’m off to long kriya tonight to chuck out any remnant guilt. Soooooooo hum.